Issue #007
The place between endings and beginnings
The promotion you wanted. The relationship you needed to end. The business you launched.
Why does everything feel harder after you get what you thought you wanted?
I learned this the hard way when I was working with a brilliant executive named Shwetha. She had moved to the states from India, built an incredible career, and then got the news that would change everything: her visa wouldn't be renewed.
At first, she was devastated. Who wouldn't be? She didn't want to leave her role, her friends, the community she had built, the schools her kids were in. She felt afraid, worried, and anything but courageous.
But here's what happened when we started asking the deeper questions...
The Real Problem Wasn't the Visa
When we dug into the "5 Whys" I teach all my clients, something fascinating emerged. Behind the fear, behind the uncertainty, Shwetha discovered she was clinging to something that wasn't ideal in the first place.
Her current situation represented who she had been, not who she was becoming. It was an old identity that felt familiar and safe, but it didn't actually support who she saw herself being in the future.
Once she realized this, that she was holding onto an outdated version of herself, everything shifted.
She stopped trying to save what was and started getting curious about what could be. She began envisioning her future self and asking different questions: "Where I'm going, do I actually need this anymore? What bigger and better things are waiting for me?"
And that's when the magic happened.
The Courage to Let Go
Shwetha didn't have another job lined up. She didn't have a plan in place. But she made a choice that changed everything: she accepted the transition instead of fighting it.
She stopped clinging to her old identity and stepped into creating her new one.
Within months, she got an incredible opportunity with a new company in the UK, in an even better role, making more money. Her kids' school situation improved. Her career trajectory accelerated. Everything improved in ways she couldn't have imagined while she was desperately trying to hold onto what was.
But here's the crucial part: she couldn't see any of this while she was stuck in resistance mode.
Welcome to the In-Between
This is what I call Stage 3 of becoming an Activated Leader: Navigate the In-Between.
It's that uncomfortable space between who you used to be and who you're becoming. Between the world you knew and the world you're moving toward. It's vulnerable, it's uncertain, and it's absolutely essential for growth.
Most leaders try to skip this stage. They want to go from stuck to successful without the messy middle. But here's what I've learned after coaching hundreds of executives:
The in-between is where leaders are forged.
Think about it like working out. You know that soreness that comes when you start a new routine? Do you feel that soreness and stop? Of course not. You know it means it's working. You're getting stronger.
The same is true in leadership transitions. The discomfort isn't a sign you're doing something wrong; it's proof you're growing.
The Secret to Navigating Uncertainty
There's one thing that separates leaders who thrive in the in-between from those who retreat back to their comfort zones:
They reframe discomfort as progress.
When everything feels uncertain, when the path isn't clear, when you're questioning whether you made the right choice, that's not failure. That's growth happening in real time.
The leaders who understand this don't just survive transitions. They use them as launching pads for breakthrough results.
Your Turn
Right now, I want you to ask yourself: What "in-between" stage are you currently in?
Maybe you took a new role but haven't found your footing yet. Maybe you started a difficult conversation but haven't reached resolution. Maybe you made a bold decision but the results aren't visible yet.
Whatever it is, I want you to try something: Instead of viewing the uncertainty as evidence you made a mistake, WHAT IF you viewed it as evidence you're exactly where you need to be?
WHAT IF the discomfort means you're growing?
WHAT IF the questions mean you're moving toward something better than you can currently see?
The Next Level Awaits
Here's what I know after two decades of leading teams through massive transitions at Microsoft, Oracle, and Google: The leaders who learn to navigate the in-between don't just reach their goals, they discover possibilities they never knew existed.
But it requires a different set of skills than most of us were taught. It requires frameworks for managing uncertainty, tools for maintaining momentum when you can't see the finish line, and strategies for building confidence in the middle of change.
If you're ready to stop just surviving your transitions and start leveraging them for breakthrough results, let's talk about what that looks like for you.
Ready to become an Activated Leader?
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See you next week,
P.S. The most successful leaders I know have one thing in common: they've learned to see uncertainty as opportunity. If that's a skill you want to develop, reply and tell me what transition you're navigating right now. I read every email.
