The finish line I kept moving

Hey {{first_name | default: friend}},

On Thursday, I asked what brings you here. Most of you said “I’M SUCCESSFUL, BUT I FEEL STUCK”. So this one's for you.

One year ago this week, I walked the halls of Google for the last time.

I filmed the walk. Every hallway held a memory. The founding Google Cloud team. The deals we were never supposed to win. The colleagues who made the hardest work of my life feel like the best work of my life. I said thank you out loud.

I was deeply grateful. I was also terrified.

Terrified the work wouldn't follow me. Terrified I was trading a great career for a mistake I couldn't undo.

But the hardest part of leaving wasn't the logistics. It was admitting why I had stayed so long.

It was familiar. I had built my identity around it. And every time the exit got close, I moved the finish line. One more promotion. One more target. One more year.

I have a name for that now:

The False Number: the target you keep moving so you never have to make the decision.

It almost never sounds like fear. It sounds responsible.

"After I vest."

"After this promotion cycle."

"After one more certification."

That last one was mine. Before I launched, I was sure I needed one more credential. My executive coach asked how many I already held. Seven. Maybe eight.

Then she asked how many a peer we both respected had when she launched her firm. None. She had just crossed seven figures.

"Lilah, what if you're using preparation as procrastination?"

The next morning, I canceled the course and sent my first enterprise proposal.

At 3am, the False Number gets louder: "You'll never make this kind of money again." That one woke me up more than once last year.

Here's what I wrote in my journal:

Scarcity asks, "What if I can't replace this?"

Abundance asks, "What if this is my floor?"

A year later, the company I walked away from added The Activated Leader to its approved vendor list. The fear was loud. It was just measuring the wrong room.

This is not a "leave your job" letter. Most of the leaders I coach stay right where they are. What changes is that they stop letting fear hold the pen.

One of my clients told me she started at "a point where I'd almost given up." Ambitious, clear on what she wanted, and sure nothing would ever move. A few sessions later she said, "Like a phoenix, I came out of the ashes."

Her ambition was there all along. What changed is that she started believing she could reach it.

Five minutes. Pick the goal taking up the most space in your head right now.

If your answer to number three makes you wince, you've found it.

Last year my daughter asked what I wanted to be when I grew up. That night I wrote a list without editing a word. This week I pulled it back out:

I also had nights I wondered if I'd made a huge mistake. Both things are true. And my average day now doesn't hold a candle to my best day then.

Reply and tell me your False Number.

One line is enough: the target you keep moving, and the decision it's protecting. I read every reply, and I'll send you back one question to help you make the call.

Next Saturday, I'll share a few of your False Numbers, anonymously. You're not the only one moving the line.

P.S. On Thursday I sent you one quick question so I can send you content that fits where you are right now. If you missed it, look for the email titled "Can I ask you something?" It takes one click.

The Activated Leader Program
1:1 engagement for senior leaders navigating transition, identity, and what’s next.
➜ Explore coaching

For conferences, leadership summits, and corporate off-sites
➜ Book Lilah